Had a bad day

Wow.  My little guy woke up mad!  All day he has been really fussy.  A wet diaper is the worst thing to ever happen.  He gives real tears.  When he is tired it is an all out cry fest.  He has worn himself out with crying today.  It is very sad to see as a mommy and not know what I can do to help him.  I was ready for his daddy to get home.  Sadly, I let my baby's bad mood affect me and take it out on daddy.  It's a viscous cycle. 

Me thinks tomorrow has to be better. 

Here's a pic of him yesterday when he was in a good mood all day.  Such a sweet angel. 

The Daily Life of Mister E.

Midnight- Sleep like a little angel in his crib with his best friend Herb.
5:58Wake up and scream because he's wet. The second I open his diaper he pees all over the changing table.  Change his clothes while still screaming.  Then, chow down laying down. 
6:30 Sleep
9:01 Wake up again and scream because he hates being wet.  Eat really slowwwwwwww...because he keeps falling asleep.
10:01 Sleep happy in the swing zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

12:00 Woke up from an amazingly long nap!  Wow.  Go Baby!  Change Diaper.  Eat.  Change a soaked diaper.  Eat some more.  Play with mama.  Play with daddy.  Eat even more.Go to Marketstreet.  Cry.  Stop.  Come home get new diaper.  Play in the Ocean gym.  Cry.  Get new diaper. 

2:07 Eat slow because of the sleepiness.  Chill in crib, get diaper change, eat, chill in crib, drink bottle, and fuss. 
3:11 Relax in swing and sleep for a very long time.  I hope he sleeps tonight.  Eek.   

6:30  Wake up and get changed.  Only mildly crying.  Impressive.  Eat.  Need a new diaper.  Eat.  Eat a bottle.  Meet new friends.  Play in the Ocean.  Get medicine for Thrush.  Play with daddy, get a new diaper.

8:14 Eat.  Play a little eye brow fun.  Eat.  Go with daddy to have a bottle.  Take a bath.  Go to bed til 5:00 AM. 
This so was not a typical day.  This was the day he spoiled me.  Wow!  What a perfect baby.

Easter!

Little E is 9 weeks old and I can't believe that!  He is over two months old.  Wow.  Every month Jason and I want to get pictures made so we can see his progress over time.  We wanted to have a theme so we came up with holidays!  March is St Patrick's day and this month obviously Easter. 

Ethan had just eaten so he should have been fat and happy.  At times, he was.  But at other times...

He was a trooper through it all.  I was impressed with Target's portrait studio.  I was not impressed with their prices.  Eek. 

They say a picture's worth a thousand words, but geez.  Not a $1000 dollars.  Yuck. 
But from Ethan and I to you, Happy Easter!

Breastfeeding

This has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life!  And at the same time, rewarding.  I was very ignorant about the whole thing when I got started.  I couldn't get a good latch or a good hold.  I bought the Boppy and My Breast Friend hoping it would make it easier.  The hospital lactation consultant helped me some.  The biggest help was realizing that breast feeding in a bed is difficult period.  Once I moved to the rocker it was much easier. 

When I left the hospital, I experienced a lot of pain.  I kept taking my pain pills so I could stick with breastfeeding.  I had no idea why it was so painful!  I read all the boards on the internet and came to the conclusion I had thrush.  I got a cream for it, but that didn't help at all.  I felt like I was destined to have this horrible stabbing sensation my entire time. 

Aside from the pain, I thought that things were going well.  Ethan was eating frequently and I was feeling confident.  My confidence quickly turned to fear and low self esteem.  E wasn't gaining weight and doctors were concerned.  I tried doing everything in my power to up my milk supply.  The pediatrician had a "lactation consultant" on staff and I received horrible advice.  Like only feeding him for ten minutes each side to conserve calories.  That no doubt hurt my milk supply.  Only pump in the morning and night.  (To increase supply, you should pump after every feed for even just five minutes.)  She told me to take Fenugreek and Blessed thistle and I did.  It wasn't working so I took Mother's Love.  I also drank Mother's Milk Tea and met with a real lactation consultant.  Not someone who went to a conference to get the title.  The doctor wasn't the greatest encourager of breast feeding.  She told me E needed formula and shoved a bottle in his mouth in front of me.  I cried.  It was so hard to realize that I was failing as a mother.  Something that God intended for us to do and be so natural was the hardest thing I have ever done.  I was to supplement with two ounces a feed. 

On my own, I asked questions to a Le Leche league, chatted in forums, and called the Similac hotline.  Which, is a great free resource.  They are amazing.  The have actual lactation consultants 24/7.  She told me about a thing called Power Pumping.  It helps increase your supply.  You pump for ten minutes rest for ten and continue this for an hour.  Doing this once a day should up your milk.  

I went on a website and found an amazing lactation consultant.  She gave me the best advice I have ever heard and was extremely supportive and complimentary.  She showed me how to supplement formula using a feeding tube.  It was awesome.  Baby is at the breast and it stimulated them and helped more milk to be in him and he was getting the formula.  She weighed him before and after feeding to see how much he was getting from me.  She also encouraged me to try a prescription called "Domperidone."  It is offered in Canada over the counter, but here in the US it isn't FDA approved.  My OB GYN prescribed it to me and I saw no results.  It was my last hope!  The consultant came back again and watched everything and recommended me to up my dosage to increase my supply.  It slowly is working!  I have more milk now than I ever have!  I am so excited.  Sunday I fed seven times and only had to give him a bottle twice. 

I met with my OB at my six week follow up and she prescribed me Diflucan.  It helped me and for the first time I had pain free nursing!  Hallelujah!  And then it came back.  Boo.  Currently, my struggles are thrush again, not yet a 100% supply, and dreading going back to work and not pumping enough.  For some reason the pump doesn't get as much as my baby.  Ugh.  So here's hoping I can make it a year.  Fingers crossed. 

Pregnant Vs. Not

I can honestly say I do not miss being pregnant in the slightest.  I mean seriously, what is there to miss?  The nausea, throwing up, lack of energy, low self-esteem, not fitting in any clothes, strangers asking a million questions, people touching you, or how about the people telling you how HUGE you are?  All things I don't miss. 

People told me to "Get rest now, because when the baby comes you'll never get rest again."  I disagree.  I am more rested now than I ever was pregnant.  When I took a nap pregnant, I woke up still exhausted.   If I take even a ten minute nap now, I feel alive!  It's amazing how the body adapts.  I also am very lucky to have a great baby that sleeps through the night.  And I have a husband that helps out whenever he can. 

8 weeks Old

Wow.  Time flies.  My baby is two months.  Here I go bragging again.  But hey, when you got the perfect baby, it's what you do.  ;)  I still remember him at one day! 

He was so little! 


He is in his 50th percentile for weight and height.  If you don't know, that's a big deal because his weight was a big deal early on.  Now we are finally doing good.  I have to supplement after every feed with formula, but I'm not giving up hope that one day I will have enough milk to make him full. 

He got his shots and when he cried, I almost lost it, but I stayed strong.  The second his daddy picked him up he immediately stopped. He passed all their tests with flying colors.  She even mentioned how strong he is...I know! 

It has been a very stressful journey, but I would do it all again including the fourth degree tear because he's worth it.