Nursing nightmare round 1

I think breastfeeding is a topic that everyone has a strong opinion on whether they have a clue about what they are talking about or not. I breastfed Ethan. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. Harder than child birth. I took two pain killers not for the fourth degree tear I experienced, rather the horrific stabbing sensation that came every 2-3 hours around the clock for three months straight. I refused to give up. I knew the benefits and I wanted my son to have every advantage he could.  Did you know that breast fed babies have the immunities mom has had?  It makes babies smart, decreases allergies, reduces chance of Crohns Disease and diabetes and more!  http://www.notmilk.com/101.html
I wanted that for my baby.
 I was willing to do whatever it took. I had a lactation consultant come to my house to assist. In addition to the horrific pain, I also had low milk supply. It could have been from many things. The stupid advice I got about not spoiling your baby and only feeding him every three hours, the fake lactation advisor my pediatric office had gave me the great idea for Ethan to eat less so he conserves calories, the nipple shield that same woman advised. Looking back, I  think he had a lip tye. I had three months of formula free feeding but had to supplement most of Ethan's beginning months. I pumped after every feeding, power pumped, used Fenugreek, blessed thistle, Mother's Love, Mother's milk tea, Domperidone, lactation smoothies, oatmeal, and lots of water. One thing I learned was I was so concerned about my nutrition. My lactation consultant told me that was not a worry just look at women in third world countries who have thriving breastfed children. If you struggle with breastfeeding, the best thing my consultant had me do was supplement at the breast. She had these special feeding tubes that cost three dollars. After I nursed, I would add the tube and finish feeding. My son would drink his formula but also get an addition ounce from me. That helped my supply a ton. Shoutout Wendy Blumberg, best lactation consultant ever!
After two weeks I weaned off of one pain pill. After three months I weaned from the second only because my liver levels were alarming. At three months the pain finally went away. My hard work paid off. I was able to nurse Ethan 18 months. I quit only because he started pulling at my shirt and when he wanted milk he would start trying to help me out.
I want to give advice to future nursing moms. People's opinions don't matter. It was shocking some of the things I heard though. There is no benefit to nursing, it was bad for the baby, I shouldn't nurse in public, and the most frustrating, women should only nurse for 6 months because that's how long cattle do it.   Mind you these were all people close to me. It hurt. I praise Gid for a supportive husband or I know I would have quit after the first blood blister. He would latch for me so I wouldn't know when it was coming. There were times I would go to latch but be so scared because it hurt so bad. I had thrush and clogged milk ducts.  In the end , I can honestly say it was with it. I would do it all over again.

For those that only breastfed a few weeks or months, way to go!  In six weeks you have passed on all of your immunities. That's incredible. If you had low milk supply like me, way to go. Four ounces of breast milk a day is like giving your baby an antibiotic. If you had to or even chose to formula feed, props to you. I commend you for your hardwork. Keeping those bottles clean, waking up in the middle of the night to prepare the bottles that's a ton of work and you are awesome.
Whatever path you took I think all moms are pretty amazing. If you see a mom doing something different than you, please don't judge. Don't condemn or offer unsolicited advice. Be supportive no matter what choice they made as a mom. If I didn't have the drugs there is no way I could have survived breastfeeding.

Are you pregnant?

I'm overweight. I carry my weight in my stomach. I try to avoid tight clothes at all costs and buy large tops. I would do XL but they usually are too long. I got a Fitbit with the hopes that I could challenge myself to get steps in and exercise more. I try to take my lunches and not eat fast food. (Except Chick Fil A. They don't count. Everybody knows chicken is healthy. )
My son and husband do a great job of encouraging me and Ethan daily tells me how pretty I am.
I forget all of  that and can't remember their voices when someone asks me the forbidden question. "Are you pregnant?"  That one question reminds me that I need to lose at least 15 pounds and that I am indeed overweight. I've had people argue with me that I am pregnant. I've had people ask me days after coming back from maternity leave. And recently I had someone say, "Aww, I had no idea you were expecting again?!"  I know it sounds like a catty thing and I need to "get over it" but I share this to educate. Do not ask a woman if she's pregnant even if she looks like she is due any day now. It could be a hernia. Or like me November 2012, she could be in the middle of a miscarriage.  So unless someone has told you beforehand, hold the congratulations. You could save yourself a lot of embarrassment. And for  them,  some tears in their pillow at night.