A Little Christian Humor

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.



Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.'



So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.



They moused.



They faxed.



They e-mailed.



They e-mailed with attachments.



They downloaded..



They did spreadsheets!



They wrote reports.



They created labels and cards..



They created charts and graphs..



They did some genealogy reports .



They did every job known to man.



Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.



Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off..



Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.



Jesus just sighed..



Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:



'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!'

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate.

'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?'

God just shrugged and said,



JESUS SAVES.....

Who do you feed?

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.




He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil - It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.



The other is Good - It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."



The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"



The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

The Stupid things I do

     When we bought our house, I was so excited about our jacuzzi bath tub.  It looked so fun.  Then I got an up close look.  We had a housekeeper clean our house top to bottom before we moved so I had no doubts the tub would be clean.  Ugh.  The part of the tub that sucks the water in had a filter that I looked at.  It was so dirty.  Jason unscrewed it and it was black!  NASTY!
     We then proceeded to fill the tub and run the jets.  Black nastiness was spewing through and I cried.  Jason being the good husband he is went out and bought bleach.  We ran the tub with bleach, scrubbed with a toothbrush, and cleaned cleaned cleaned.  I really wanted to take my first bath, and after 5 weeks and at least 8 cleanings, tonight was the night.  I cleaned it and then filled up the water. 
     While the water was filling, I decided to make some cookies for homegroup.  I looked up recipes online and decided on this perfect and easy recipe for Forgotten cookies.  It required two ingredients.  Egg white and sugar.  I really don't see how it could be messed up but somehow I managed.  In every recipe it tells you to beat the egg whites until they are stiff.  I missed that step somehow.  I put my runny batter on the pan and we will see tomorrow how it all worked out.  CRAP THE BATH! 
     That's right I forgot about the bathtub.  Had I waited seconds more it would have overflowed.  I am one lucky gal.  Phew.  (Don't tell Jason.)  I got in the tub and realized we didn't put the cap back on the part of the tub that sucks the water in.  Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to see how powerful the suction was.  I put my fingers near it and it sucked my hand and "Ow".  I called Jason to get me some shower gel and told him of my trauma.  He laughed at me.  :(  He got my gel and went back to watching TV.  I forgot about the suction thingy and it took my foot.  I screamed and poor Jason nearly passed out from laughter.  I was done with that stupid bath tub.  I got out and threw my little pity party.  Audience of one.  As I was fixing my hair, I looked and saw water coming from the seams of the tub.  Isn't that special.  Oh the joys of owning a home.  Plumbing issues number 2. 
   Here's the recipe for the cookies if you would like to make them...

FORGOTTEN COOKIES

2 egg whites, at room temperature 3/4 c. sugar 1 16 oz. pkg. semi-sweet chocolate bits Preheat oven to 375°F for 15 minutes.Beat egg whites until stiff. Gradually add sugar until thoroughly mixed. Fold in chocolate. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper or use a silicone baking sheet. Drop mixture by teaspoonfuls onto lined cookie sheet, spacing cookies 2 inches apart. Place cookie sheet in oven and turn oven off. Leave cookies in oven (without opening the oven door!) until oven has completely cooled. Makes about 2 dozen.

Biggest Winners

  Don't stop Believing     
        Our school secretary let me know about a great experience one of our teachers had.  She went to an open casting for Biggest Loser season 10 and got picked top 40 out of 950+.  Catherine Fletcher is our Life Skills teacher that I had never had any length of conversation with.  I saw her in passing, but never slowed down to discover what an amazing person she was.  The secretary asked if I wouldn't mind helping her with an audition video since I had experience editing.  I whole heartedly agreed not thinking how much work was really involved. 

    I teach Theatre and when I took my position at my current school, the principal also asked me to teach broadcasting.  I had no experience other than a claymation class I took for an inservice hour.  I feel inadequate and was nervous about my skills, but offered help to Catherine if I was needed.  I was needed.  

   Our staff jumped in and really helped out with ideas and their time to help Catherine with her video.  I was getting some great footage.  I tried to put it together as fast as I got it.  Once I had nearly everything, I edited a 12 minute video and was beyond proud.  I felt good, life was good, and I was relieved. 
   
    Then, I got approximately 3 more hours of footage.  I nearly had a panic attack.  In total, I had over 4.5 hours of footage.  Thank goodness my husband is great at everything.  He helped me adjust sound, transitions, cutting, etc. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHhaTVY0mXc
   
    42 hours of editing and I was finished.  It turned out great and I am so thankful through this experience I made two great friends. 

I really hope they get this!  They are so deserving!